You mistake the force of the pursuit for the depth of the love
When someone comes at you with intensity from the very start — the attention, the certainty, the rush of it — you feel finally and fully chosen, and you give your heart to that feeling fast. But it is the intensity you are falling for, before you know whether the person underneath is any good for you.
Come, let us look at this gently, for it is the heart being fooled by something that feels exactly like love. The force of a pursuit is not the depth of a love — intensity measures how hard someone is coming toward you, not how well they will love you once they arrive, and it can pour from need or loneliness or the thrill of the chase, none of which is a love that stays; the heat tells you how much they want the winning of you, not how they will hold you when you are won. Being chosen so hard answers an old hunger — the intensity lands so deep because it meets a wish to be wanted without question, an old doubt about whether you were quite wanted, so understand where that hunger comes from and the force loses its power to override your seeing. And let time, not force, tell you what a love is — a real love shows itself slowly across ordinary days, not in the lightning of the first weeks, so slow down, let the pursuit cool, and watch what remains, for the force always fades and what is left when it fades is the actual person. What is it, do you think, that the intensity answers in you?
What changes unlock by starting
- You tell the force of a pursuit from the depth of a love
- You see the old hunger the intensity is answering
- You stop letting heat override your judgment
- You let time and ordinary days reveal the actual person