You can't play with your kids without it feeling like a chore
You love your children, but playing with them feels like a chore — the pretend games, the endless rounds, the getting down on the floor when your mind is on everything else. You go through the motions dutifully, feeling guilty that you are not enjoying it, and wishing you could play with your kids the way they deserve.
That you feel guilty tells me you love them and want to do this well — so let a fool lighten it. You are performing play instead of actually playing — going through the motions with your mind on the waiting tasks, and children feel it instantly, so dutiful play is a chore because it truly is another duty; the remedy is realer play, actually entering the game rather than supervising it from a weary distance. Let the child teach you to play again — they are the master and you the rusty one, so follow their game and nonsense and let the small expert lead, for in following them you recover your own lost capacity. And a little real play beats an hour of dutiful play — ten minutes truly present gives more than an afternoon of resented pretend, so drop the guilt about quantity and aim for a few fuller moments entered wholly. What makes the play feel most like a chore for you?
What changes unlock by starting
- You see you're performing play, not entering it
- You let your child teach you to play
- You give short, truly-present play
- You enjoy it, and so do they