Talk it through with Rabia
You and your ex can't agree on how to raise the kids
Every handoff is a negotiation. Different rules, different bedtimes, different values — and the child is caught in the middle of it. You want to do right by them, but you can barely be in the same room as the person you are supposed to co-parent with.
◆ How this problem reads on the two dials
GuidanceKnowledge
1:1 with RabiaWith others (a Pod)
Inner work of managing your own reactions (guidance) plus practical co-parenting moves (knowledge). Involves the other parent, so partly relational.
How the two dials adapt to you →What’s really going on
Co-parenting with someone you could not stay married to is one of the hardest things a person can be asked to do. The old hurt keeps climbing into decisions where it does not belong. The work is to set that hurt down long enough to do the job — not for your ex's sake, for the child's. You do not have to agree. You only have to stop making the child carry the war.
🔒 What you’ll build togetherUnlock by starting
KnowledgeSeparate the old marriage from the parenting
KnowledgeThe child needs two homes, not one winner
KnowledgePick the hills worth dying on
A moveNotice when the old marriage is doing the talking, and set it down.
A moveFight only the few battles that truly matter; let your house be the steady one.
What changes unlock by starting
- You tell the old hurt apart from the real question
- You stop needing to win every disagreement
- You make your home the steady one
- The child stops carrying your war
One object, two jobs: a public answer to a real problem, and — the moment you start the chat — Rabia’s live plan for your version of it.