You reach for your phone in front of your kids and regret it

That you regret it means you already sense what matters here. They are watching, and learning, and feeling it — when you reach for the phone before them, they feel your attention leave, learning that the screen matters more than they do in that moment, and they learn the very habit you would not wish on them; your presence and your example both go to the screen. Childhood is made of small present moments — a child's sense of being loved is built from the countless ordinary ones the phone quietly takes, which do not come again, since the child is this age only once. So make the time with them a screen-free place — the phone truly away when you are with them, guarding those times for presence, and when you fail, as all do, simply put it down and return. The gift is not perfection but the steady turning of your full attention toward the ones who need it most. When does the phone most pull you from them?