LibraryScenariosSexual orientation as identity
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Psychological

Sexual orientation as identity

The question of whether sexual orientation constitutes an identity — something you are — or a behavior — something you do — has enormous stakes, both political and personal. Most people who have experienced same-sex desire with depth and persistence know, from the inside, that it is not a preference among equals but a fundamental orientation of longing. That this orientation was pathologized, criminalized, and used to justify enormous harm says more about the societies that did so than about the people who endured it.

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How One Family Member's Coming Out Changes Everyone's RelationshipsHow to co-parent when one spouse comes out later in marriageHow to Explore Sexual Identity When You Fear You're Not 'Gay Enough'How to Handle a Friend Who Claims Acceptance But Shows Subtle RejectionHow to Handle Professional Assumptions About Your Sexual OrientationHow to Navigate Late-Life Sexual Identity Awakening When You Have an Established FamilyHow to navigate when a social group becomes a space for sexual identity explorationHow to Protect Your Child From Others' HomophobiaHow to repair team relationships after pronoun mistakes affect workplace dynamicsHow to Stay Professional When Your Identity Feels Like a SecretHow to Support Your LGBTQ+ Teen When You Don't Know What They NeedWhen a friend coming out changes long-established group dynamicsWhen Being Openly Gay at Work Feels Professionally RiskyWhen Coming Out to Your Children Changes Your Relationship With ThemWhen community organizations face conflict over LGBTQ+ inclusion and neutralityWhen couples have different approaches to sexual orientation visibility and advocacyWhen couples have different comfort levels with being out about sexual orientationWhen exploring sexual orientation changes dynamics with roommates and close friendsWhen Living Authentically Feels Lonelier Than Living a LieWhen Marriage Equality Hasn't Reached Your LocationWhen queer business partners disagree about professional visibility and authenticityWhen Questioning Your Sexual Identity Feels Like Losing YourselfWhen Sexual Identity Clarity Comes After Decades of MarriageWhen Staying Closeted at Work Means Witnessing Discrimination in SilenceWhen workplace LGBTQ+ groups disagree on priorities and authentic advocacyWhen You Think You Might Be Asexual in a Sex-Obsessed CultureWhen You're in Love With Your Straight Best FriendWhen Your Child's Coming Out Challenges Your Vision of Their FutureWhen Your Church Claims Inclusion But Practices Subtle ExclusionWhen Your Family Dismisses Your Sexual Identity as Attention-SeekingWhen Your Partner Wants You to Come Out But Your Family Culture Makes It DangerousWhen Your Partner's Transition Changes Your Sexual CompatibilityWhen Your Sexual Identity Shifts After You've Already Come OutWhen Your Sexual Orientation Becomes a Weapon in Custody CourtWhen Your Therapist Wants You to Label Your Sexual IdentityWhether Having Children as a Same-Sex Couple Is Fair to the KidsWhether to Come Out to a Dying Religious Family MemberWhy Bisexual Identity Feels Invisible in Long-Term Heterosexual RelationshipsWhy Bisexual People Face Rejection From Both Gay and Straight CommunitiesWhy Straight Friends Think All Gay People Should Date Each Other